When the big baseball game finally ends,
When the pitcher beckons to the umpire
With a look that says, “we should just end this now,
Seems like the home team is trying to lose on purpose,”
I’ll be standing over at third base
Waving a gun with the safety off in the face
Of the opposing team’s mascot
When the ushers take me down.
And while I’m sitting in the back of the captain’s car
And they’re discussing what to do with “the guy who keeps trying to bite people,”
And saying, “What the hell was all that, anyway?
They were keeping their grip so loose
that even if they had made contact the ball would have certainly just
knocked the bats right out of their hands,”
I’ll be plotting where to start screaming “I gotta use the bathroom!”
At which point he’s gonna have to let me out.
But guess what? We’ve parked right in front of the old abandoned mill!
That place is like a maze!
They’re never gonna find me in there!
They’re never gonna find me in there!
When the big baseball game finally ends
When the big baseball game finally ends
When the big baseball game finally ends
They’ll never find me in here!
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