1. |
All The Way
01:55
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I wanna make it mine
I wanna see it through this time
I wanna make it all the way to the White House
At least I can say I tried
Knock and I’ll open all their eyes
Won’t let ‘em crash and burn
At the foot of a light house
I fit in this world fine
Climb to the side of the first-in-line
Recounting the names of the guests at the ball at the White House
Caught in this friendly bind
Crossing the pond to clear my mind
Hurried return, tried to turn but the ice snuffed the flame out
They came, they saw, they fraternized
They all got hung to dry
Or so I understand,
but why would I?
Can’t admit it, right?
I wanna make it mine
I wanna see it through this time
I wanna make it all the way to the White House
They came, they saw, they fraternized
Some scrambled off but I
Stood stoic as the ocean seemed to rise
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2. |
Formative Years
02:05
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I was only 14 when dad died
Too young to sort it out
Too old to just forget it
Where do we go from here?
Unclear, so, nose to the grindstone
Just have to sweat it out
Through these formative years
Through these formative years
A full ride on Weed to Sewanee
Southeast Tennessee
I came out a correspondent!
Where do we go from here?
All clear
Who knows where the wind blows?
No need to plot it out
Through these formative years
Through these formative years
I was only 14 when dad died
Too young to sort it out
Too old to just forget it
Where do I go from here?
Sky’s clear, so, nose to the grindstone
Just have to sweat it out
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3. |
Hopeful
02:25
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Not feeling hopeful
Not feeling ready
Not gonna keep my head or spirits high
Got tunnel vision
Caught in the netting
And when the night comes I stand and abide
Won’t try
And I really don’t know why
No more dreams
Nothing’s really what it seems
I’m left feeding from the bottom
Cast a stone
Future me picks up the phone
I let him know that they forgot him
I’m feeling hopeful
I’m feeling ready
I’m gonna keep my head up, spirits high
Sort through the rubble
Keep my pace steady
And when the wave comes I’ll run for my life
I’ll try
And I really don’t know why
That’s the thing
If I get caught in the sting
I’m left feeding from the bottom
Not set in stone
Leave my future self alone
Won’t let him know if they forgot him
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4. |
Tell The World
02:03
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Tell the world
All of the things you figured out
Buy and sell hot off the press,
Read all about it
Shop around
What else makes a living anyhow?
They’re hearing me out
Hearing me out
Hearing me out
Tell the world
Forget all the things you did without
On your side
A mill for the grist, no crying foul
Run aground?
Spare only moments for a bow
They’re hearing me out
Hearing me out
Hearing me out
All this time? I’ll resolve to write
Carve a spot as a socialite
Halls of power, in a tower up high
Tell the world
All of the things you figured out
Buy and sell hot off the press,
Read all about it
Show ‘em how
Spare not a moment for a bow
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5. |
I Wanna Go To War
02:33
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I waited for so long
Let time try its hand
At rehabilitating open wounds
You wouldn’t understand
I tried resting easy
Tried letting it go
Felt sick no matter what, down to my core
More than you could know
I wanna go to war
I wanna see the bloodshed
Death knocking on my door
Bleeding out there on some beachhead
Need pure self destruction
Or some honor at least
Give up on pleasantries, this whole facade, man
Give in to the beast
I wanna go to war
I wanna see the bloodshed
Death knocking on my door
Claim my everlasting homestead
I wanna go to war
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6. |
Where Silver Rules
02:12
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I headed off to Mexico
Followed where they said to go
Meaning they only caught some parts of what I said
I learned some words I didn’t know
But it’s all I got to show
Meaning I can’t go back quite yet
At least not ’til Ransom shits the bed
Reading, writing, biding time
‘Til I’m finally free to go (from Mexico)
I penned some columns and reports
No longer feeling out of sorts
Keeping the brush from creeping back on the main path
I write to keep my palate clean
Semiweeklies, magazines
Piling high beside my bed
I’ve got a perpetually cool head
I’m yielding the rest of my time to whatever comes my way (in Mexico)
A meaning I can’t make out quite yet
Don’t sweat all the things that I regret
I’m yielding the rest of my time to whatever comes my way
Letting the feedback trickle in
And what do they make of my worn skin?
“No ordinary level of finish and interest”
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7. |
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I’m really not that tired
There’s too much on my mind
Don’t wanna toss and turn through the night
Some way from drifting off
So I’ll try to sit and write
And you may think it’s stupid
But, if you could, remind me:
How many mules have you saved?
I saved twenty score
And without a second thought I saved a hundred more
Who’s seeking your opinion?
Who wants your insight?
Yeah, that’s what I thought, fuck off
Find someone else to slight
I’m feeling uninspired
The sparks that I let fly
Ignite or ember dormant
But why?
Some way from drifting off
So again I sit and write
I know you think it’s stupid
But, if you could, remind me:
How many mules have you saved?
I saved twenty score
And without a second thought I saved a hundred more
Who’s seeking your opinion?
Who’s knocking down your door?
Yeah, that’s what I thought, fuck off
Now row your boat ashore
How many mules have you saved?
I saved twenty score
And without breaking a sweat made safe a hundred more
Who’s seeking your opinion?
Who wants your insight?
Yeah, that’s what I thought, fuck off
I’m done trying to be polite
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8. |
March 5, 1909
01:36
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Storm clouds about town
Inauguration Day is done!
The chamber! What a life line!
It sure as hell beats cheap pine
A venue far more dignified
And now off to the races
Those disappointed faces?
Well, they’ll steam windows from outside
But well-laid plans
Slipped through my hands
And I never got to take my walk
My throat as tight as my belt
And down as I ever felt
(Save for when I went back South to bury mom)
I grabbed an early “goodbye”
Though wrenched apart I don’t cry
“It’s no such thing, we’ll meet again”
In truth I should feel better
Please find enclosed the letter
From TR to our God of War:
Efficient, diplomatic,
Discreet and charismatic
And if he’s ever here again
I’ll be here, too
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9. |
Selection Effects
02:47
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I tried to side with one dog in this fight
I can’t pick out if it’s the rock or the hard place that don’t feel right
Close my eyes, I’m still caught in the row
Every moment spent awake fighting against the undertow
Dragging me down
Maybe I can learn to hold a grudge
I foist this question on myself: will I lean advocate or judge?
I can’t say what’s gonna happen next
I’m visibly torn and depleted by these selection effects
Dragging me down
Where are we now?
'Cause I don’t even know if I know
I don't even know if I know
Best of both worlds
Unrealized
Tempted to run
Tempted to hide
Dragging me down
'Cause I don’t even know if I know
I don't even know if I know
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10. |
European Vacation
02:54
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Just another European vacation
I’m sailing off to Rome
4.5 thousand miles from home
The salve for my intrusive thought fixation
Is that really so?
I guess we’ll never really know
If you don’t hear from me
I’m off on holiday
I’m running out of steam
Doesn’t have to be this way
I feel so tired all the time
I need a little sea trip to clear my mind
Just a little time for me, to stand still
The doc says the thing
I need’s a rest, not sightseeing
Inopportune but I’ll be back mid-April
When Taft gets the nod
Or else is hoist on his petard
And if you don’t hear from me
I’m off on holiday
I’m running out of steam
Doesn’t have to be this way
I feel so tired all the time
I need a little sea trip to clear my mind
Sis, if the Berlin goes down, know you can
Find my affairs
Stored safely out among my wares
I know it’s overkill but can’t hurt to plan
No tempting chance
Don’t dwell on my presentiments
‘Cause if you don’t hear from me
I’m off on holiday
I’m running out of steam
Doesn’t have to be this way
I feel so tired all the time
I need a little sea trip to clear my mind
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11. |
Ready To Die
02:39
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Final hours got lost in the dustbin
The few witnesses clash on key facts
Some say hero, hangman, or bystander
But it really depends who you ask
Was I patting the hands of the ones set for land wishing only my memory would live on?
Did I shepherd them through ‘til the lifeboats withdrew right before the great vessel was gone?
Did I still feel unease at my dual loyalties? Did I let those thoughts slip from my mind?
Fired shots in the sky?
Watched in silence up high?
By all accounts, ready to die
By all accounts, ready to die
Was I pointing the gun in the faces of men who were not yet resigned to their fates?
Was my boot on the neck of those still below deck clinging tight to the steerage-class gates?
Was I calm and serene, thinking it all a dream full of realness no one could deny?
Maybe waving goodbye?
Playing cards with my guy?
By all accounts, ready to die
By all accounts, ready to die
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12. |
Both Sides Of The Shield
03:08
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I hope there’s no more rain
Where I’m going now
Listen as footsteps gain
In my fever dream
It hurts to say
Can’t will the past away
I ventured to the pines
For a storyline
No thought of what I’d find
And then pulverize
It hurts to say
Can’t will the past away
Now rest my head
Send someone in my stead
You look the same as the day I first met you
In the lush Alabama pines
When I betrayed your trust with my words
We’ve seen both sides of the shield
“You were not made for a soldier, My Lord”
You gotta take up the pen again
“You have been forced to lay aside your sword”
We’ve seen both sides of the shield
Something I’ve often thought
But not said out loud
It’s easier just to rot
Than to live it down
Think it’s fair to say
I tried every other way
Now rest my head
Send someone in my stead
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