An Update On The Emotional State Of The Hawk That Curtis the Slurper and Cerberus Adopted Together

from WATATAWA by Wisconsin Anger Team

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lyrics

Yeah, Curtis the Slurper has got a lot of things going for him
Curtis and Cerberus, they're two peas in a pod
With a fervor that burned they searched the urn for the amulet
Then pepper sprayed a guy who was just walking his dog

Well, Curtis don’t learn, landed himself in a prison
Turns out legal defense requires knowing the law
And it don’t help wearing headphones on the stand, chugging Powerade, and loudly bragging ‘bout the brand new cell phone you got

Now Curtis deserved a fair shot at redemption
But the judge was fully justified to pause and insist
That Curtis’s filthy shirt (purple, torn, with a hog on it)
Made a mockery of the court, made all the jurors feel sick

Curtis’ sermon on turmeric made for the perfect diversion
And showin’ off his learner’s permit bought a minute or two
But when the foreman reported on the jury’s deliberations
Curtis ripped a rank one and pulled a knife from his shoe

Now Curtis and Cerberus are doing federal time
And all the plans they had together are on hold for the rest
Of the decade at least and then we’ll see how it goes
And the hawk that they’d adopted is alone and depressed

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from WATATAWA, released February 20, 2021

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